so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
