She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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