That's when you crack a 10am beer
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
