he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
