I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Did I show you my penis last night?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
