I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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