there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
