But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
