it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
