I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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