i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
