i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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