I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
