So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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