I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
