dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
