i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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