How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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