SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
