I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
