For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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