I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
