she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
farters have to be the big spoon...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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