If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
