You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
