so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
