But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize