and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
