Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize