Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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