Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
