Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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