so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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