Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
