If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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