so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
