So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
