Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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