No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize