I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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