dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
