Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I look better un-naked...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
