Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
