you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
