At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
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It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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