What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
