the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
