so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
