Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize