Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
