sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
