The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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