did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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