He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
