Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
