you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
