I want to walk on stilts...naked
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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