why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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