I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
