now i know why i became what i already was.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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