he thought i was a dude.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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