Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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