therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
