sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
