i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
