Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
